Freja's December 2012 Astro Advice

An intuitive reading for each sign of the zodiac…

Freja is available for Shamanic readings in person and over the phone.

ARIES

The Moon, Malachite, Fear You may find your feelings are getting the better of you. While the depth of those feelings can be both frightening and confusing, you have nothing to fear. If we try to push feelings under the surface, they have a habit of gaining power and overwhelming us. So, stop resisting the process and allow it to unfold. Clarity and optimism will return just as surely as the sun will rise in the morning.

TAURUS

6 Swords, Rose Quartz, Water It is time to gain a new perspective on your feelings. You may be having new or deepened love feelings and want to attach them to someone else. Ultimately love is so much bigger than romance or sexual attraction. Enjoy people for who they are and what they bring to your life without feeling the need to possess the gift they bring. And remember, love always lies in the heart of the beholder.

GEMINI

The Emperor, Lepidolite, Creativity Something you want very much feels close to manifesting or coming to fruition. Perhaps you have met someone you are sexually interested in or you are involved in a project that requires you to balance your masculine and feminine energies. Nothing stands in your way except your attachment to the a certain outcome. Let go of fear and trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

CANCER

Ace of Swords, Pietersite, Earth You seek clarity and resolution regarding a delicate, complex or confusing matter. While things may appear to be OK on the surface, you are picking up on undercurrents which are unsettling you and making you feel uneasy. Ignore logic and how things 'look' and listen to your instincts and your body instead. Doing this will tell you all you need to know and you'd be wise to pay close attention.

LEO

The Empress, Lace Agate, Spirit Guide What are you doing with your love? How do you express it and share it with those you care about? This month you are being asked to become more honest and responsible with regards to matters of the heart. Perhaps you have been ignoring some deep inner truth or are withholding something from another. Whatever it is, your Higher Guidance is telling you that it is time to face up to the truth.

VIRGO

2 Swords, Citrine, Simplicity You are trying to remain positive and 'outgoing' in order to make things happen or keep them on track. But this is not how you are feeling right now and it is not what you need to do. You need to emotionally withdraw and rebalance your Self. You also need to keep things simple and to trust that even if you relinquish all control, the earth will still continue to turn all by its self! Relax.

LIBRA

Maid of Vesicas, Rhodonite, Gentleness It is time to become more gentle on yourself. You have been so focused outside of yourself for so long that you are in dire need of some TLC. Be honest about where you are giving away energy to people who do not nurture you or to activities that are no longer fulfilling you. There is a time and a place for 'self less' giving, but if your needs aren't also being met, then your life is out of balance.

SCORPIO

Justice, Carnelian, Transformation Things may not seem all that exciting right now but some amazing changes are happening for you on an inner level. You have been going through a process where you have been trying to find an inner balance and create a new sense of order in your life. Continue to take good care of yourself by equalizing your emotional life and avoiding activities or people that make you lose your balance.

SAGITTARIUS

Knight of Cups, Rhodochrosite, Fire You are feeling very excited about something that fills you with passion. Perhaps romantic feelings are developing for someone or an established bond is being taken to the next stage. Or perhaps a creative project is bringing you a sense of deeper purpose in your life. As you follow your passion, it is also important that you do all that you can to make sure your inner child is feeling safe.

CAPRICORN

5 Swords, Black Tourmaline, Birth The established order of your life is being disrupted on a fundamental level. This does not feel very pleasant but it is necessary and it will ultimately liberate you from all that is limiting you. You can rest assured that nothing and no one that is of any real importance will be lost. Your best bet is to use this energy to consciously release any negative internal and external influences once and for all.

AQUARIUS

7 Vesicas, Malachite, Chaos You are feeling more focussed than you have done for sometime, perhaps you even have a new goal or vision that is inspiring you and making you feel excited about the future again. This positive development signals that the time has finally arrived for you to move ahead with your life. Enjoy the excitement, but don't forget to take time out to reflect and to keep one foot firmly on the ground.

PISCES

The Hanged Man, Amber, Gestation There is an area of your life where you are lacking in self confidence. Perhaps you are feeling wounded and believe the only way you are ever going to be able to feel better is if you are rescued by someone or something 'out there'. No matter how long you wait, no one can ever really rescue you or make you feel better about yourself. Accept support then focus on building your self esteem.

How do we know when it is time to walk away?

'While it is a challenge for any individual soul to swim against the collective tide, thankfully the collective tide is now turning towards equality and personal freedom.' Freja ♥

While there are many benefits to 'staying the course' and to being loyal and committed, sometimes we reach a point where we must 'walk away' from a relationship or situation. We can spend many weeks, months or sometimes even years feeling unsure and undecided about whether to 'stay or go'. So, how can we tell when it is time to walk away?

It was not so very long ago that people were expected to simply 'put up with' their lot in life and it seems that having the ability to do this is still regarded as being a sign of inner strength and fortitude. While sometimes this truly is the case, more often than not the desire to 'stick it out' comes not from inner strength but from feelings of fear.

The list of fears that come up can be quite overwhelming; fear of lack or scarcity, fear of insecurity or loss, fear of nothing better being available, fear of being 'wrong', being judged by others or making a mistake... you get the picture. Our internal fears only get amplified when we think of the old saying 'better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't.' Surely it better to have no Devil at all?

This rather popular expression suggests that ultimately we are always caught between a rock and a hard place; that even if we manage to escape some awful reality, there is nothing better available to us so we may as well just 'put up and shut up'. Or, as a rather forthright Headmaster once advised me to do when I was really struggling as a teacher; 'go home, have a stiff drink, then come back tomorrow and get your head down.' 'Ah', I thought to myself, 'so that's where I have been going wrong all my life!'

For better or worse, I have never been able to simply 'put up and shut up' and this has made for a very rocky ride indeed. Although my approach has lead to a somewhat insecure life, when I look back the only thing that ever truly bothered me was the nagging belief that I should somehow be able to 'put up and shut up', and that if I can't then there must be something wrong with me.

The list of 'shoulds' that accompany the 'putting up with it' approach is also very long; should be able to 'stick at it'; should be able to turn a blind eye or ignore unacceptable behaviour, should be able to meet the unrealistic demands and expectations of others, should try harder, work harder, be more accommodating and less sensitive. The question is, where did we all get the idea that if a situation is truly awful that we just need to 'get better' at dealing with it, and if we can't that it means we are not trying hard enough? And who decided that being a 'responsible' adult equals agreeing to put up with 'the Devil' in our jobs and relationships?

Over the last hundred years or so, we have been moving into a more 'liberated' age, a time when people feel compelled to break free of oppression and enslavement. This process is all part of evolution of Humanity which is pushing us more and more urgently toward spiritual freedom. However, until we are ready to fully experience liberation and have found a way to integrate it into our lives, it can seem like all we are doing is trying to run away from something we ought to be able to accept.

Nothing can be further from the truth. Ultimately we are not really 'running away' from anything, we are 'running toward' spiritual freedom and inner peace. However, this process takes time and can make us feel lost and confused. Our soul's call for spiritual liberation usually begins with a strong intolerance for oppression, bullying, double standards, and for unreasonable demands being made on us in exchange for the security of love and/or money. Any intolerance to the endemic abuse of power within our society is not a sign of weakness or irresponsibility, it is a sign that your soul wants to break free.

The closer you get to reaching spiritual freedom, the greater your intolerance of power abuse becomes, however minor, subtle or unintentional. As your inner journey brings you closer to personal liberation, you become increasingly sensitive to how others respond to and affect your energy. While it would be so much easier to function 'normally', the 'normal' lack of sensitivity is actually due to desensitisation caused by thousands of years of oppression and layer upon layer of cultural denial.

Heightened sensitivity and intolerance to oppression is a sign of becoming increasingly unable to live in the 'Old Paradigm' – the abusive hierarchical social order that people have lived under for thousands of years. While it is a challenge for any individual soul to swim against the collective tide, thankfully the collective tide is now turning towards equality and personal freedom. Gone are the days when you are likely to be nailed to a cross or burned at the stake for owning your power or striving towards spiritual freedom – though don't be surprised if you are judged or shamed for it.

If you are trying to decide whether to stick at something or to walk away, you need only ask which option will enable your soul to evolve. Take a step back to check your feelings and listen carefully for any 'shoulds', underlying fears or limiting beliefs that may be holding you hostage. If having done all this you are still not sure, then make an empowered decision to commit yourself fully to your current situation, at least for the time being. And trust that if it turns out that you do need to walk away, in time it will become absolutely crystal clear – just as soon as you are ready.

Freja ♥

How do we know when we are 'on track' with our lives?

'Once you can truly let go of the need for validation and approval from others, you are ready to follow the path of the soul.' Freja ♥

Most of us have clear idea of what we would like to achieve in life. For many people this may mean working hard to enjoy a comfortable life style, doing a good job bringing up children or achieving career success. While personal goals can be clear cut and easy to measure for some people, for others they can feel vague, changeable or even contradictory. Whether our journey is as straight as an arrow or meanders like a river, how do we know when we are 'on track' with our lives?

There are two entities that drive and steer your life journey; your ego and your soul. These two aspects of your 'self' often contradict each other because their way of going about things is diametrically opposed. How someone chooses to live their life will largely depend on which of these two entities gets to set the agenda and make the decisions.

We all need an ego in order to experience being a separate individual. However, the ego is far more limited and limiting than the soul. The ego acts like stabilisers on a bike – while you are learning they are supportive but at some point you need to let them go or they will just slow you down and get in the way. The ego enables you to define yourself as a separate individual, but at some point, if you really want to evolve to your greatest potential, you need to say good bye to its limitations.

Like stabilisers, the ego is also concerned with safety. It seeks make your place in the world safe by helping you to 'fit in'. First and most importantly your ego seeks acceptance from your parents and family. Then, as you get older, your ego seeks to help you to 'fit in' with peers and society as a whole. Its primary aim is to ensure that you don't lose favour because being rejected or abandoned makes your position unsafe.

From the perspective of ego it is easy to know when we are on track. The ego relaxes when we receive recognition, validation, acceptance, love, money, promotion, praise, popularity – anything which offers assurance that you are 'doing well' in the eyes of others. While we all need ego reinforcements from time to time, when we live in accordance with ego, the approval of others is all that really matters. The more people like, reward and and praise us, the more secure we feel.

Contrary to popular belief, a strong ego is both positive and absolutely essential to our wellbeing. The more ego re-enforcing 'positive strokes' we receive as children, the greater our confidence and self esteem will be. If we trust our place in the world, it is much easier to let go of those external 'stabilisers' once we reach adulthood. If we reach adulthood with an under developed ego, then we remain in a childlike 'egocentric' state, continually seeking acceptance and validation from others. It is very hard to take the stabilisers off when you feel anxious and wobbly inside.

The soul requires you to have a strong enough ego to be able to live your life regardless of approval, praise or reward. Being dependent on external validation limits your potential for growth and also makes you vulnerable to power games. Approval can easily be withdrawn, withheld or denied and the ego finds it hard to remain detatched or to rise above such manipulations. Once you can truly let go of the need for validation and approval from others, you are ready to follow the path of soul.

The hardest part of living from the soul is breaking the deeply ingrained habit of looking outside for validation and remembering to look within. Cycling without stabilisers requires you to learn to inwardly feel where the balance lies. In the same way, to enable your soul to guide you, you must first find your inner balance. Once you can easily locate your inner centre and comfortably keep your balance, you are ready to go where ever your soul leads you.

Following the soul is very different than living from the ego because it allows so much freedom and possibility – you can literally go where ever you like. With so many choices suddenly made available to you, how do you know where you should be going or what you should be doing? Well here's the rub; there really is no where that you should be going or anything you should be doing – if you find that you are thinking in terms of 'shoulds' then you know you are back to ego!

Following the soul requires that you feel where you want to go. What makes you feel excited or joyful? What intrigues you and captures your attention? What challenges you to grow and brings out the best in you? What feels good and sits comfortably with your values? Asking such questions about how we feel from a place of inner balance enables us to follow the guidance of our soul and to intuitively know when we are 'on track'.

Although the soul speaks through your feelings, it is important to distinguish between a compulsive feeling and a genuine message from the soul. If a feeling starts to pull you off balance, encourages you away from your inner centre or towards gaining approval or validation then it is not coming from your soul, it is coming from your wounded or frightened ego. Although the soul will sometimes challenge us to the very core, its gentle whispers are always lead you deeper into your inner centre while simultaneously encouraging you to be courageous and free.

Freja ♥

How do we know if we are following a dream or chasing a mirage?

'Whatever it is that feels so acutely missing in our lives, is the very thing we must take responsibility for nurturing in ourselves.'

Over the last 12 months I have had to let go of every single dream I have ever held dear. I never realised quite how attached to them I was until one by one, they each came up; all bright and rosy only to be burst with a big loud 'bang'. I have discovered that these dreams I have so passionately pursued were actually mirages and that continuing to chase after them was self destructive. So, how can we tell if we are heroically following our dream or foolishly chasing a mirage?

Secretly I have been waiting for my 'real' life to start through the the fulfillment of at least one of these dreams. Like a petulant child, I have tried bargaining with God many times and have often bitterly complained – please can't I at least have one of them come true? I suspect that somewhere deep inside, most of us feel we are missing something and if we could only our hands on it, we would finally be able to relax and enjoy life.

For many of us there is at least one thing we crave - I call it the 'happy ending' dream; finally finding our One True Love; finally having a 'not so wonderful' lover magically transform and turn out to be our One True Love after all; finally healing a devastating life long family rift; finally being validated in the 'right' career; finally achieving success, acclaim, or a fabulous salary, and if all else fails then we may pine after the ultimate escape – finally receiving a big fat windfall so you don't have to worry about anything at all!

It may sound embarrassing admitting to any of these flights of fancy, but it really is no joke to feel that your life is worthless until something external has been granted to you. Because ultimately that's what all our 'happy ending' dreams are about - finally receiving some form of external validation that we are loved, valued and accepted for who we truly are. The natural response any wound is to seek something outside of ourselves to 'make it better'. Hopefully this will save us from the devastating inner belief that somehow - without this external validation - we are simply not enough. Whether it is love or sex or success or money or acceptance that we desperately crave, it is a painful lesson indeed to realise we can never fill that gaping hole.

There is a huge difference between following a dream that is born out of recognising our heart's desire and one that stems from trying to avoid pain or save us from wounds that have been inflicted on us in the past. Chasing or pining for the ever elusive happy ending is a dream based on fear and will only takes us further away from our authentic selves and deeper into our pain. Whatever solution we seek 'out there' can only ever turn out to be a mirage. The continued lack of closure and the devastating feelings of failure, shame and despair that go with it, leads us ever deeper into a negative cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to let go of.

Once we step back, we will discover that we have become addicted to trying to change the outcome of a sad story, instead of finding a way to accept it and come to terms with our loss. Whatever it was that happened to cause our wound, if we are waiting for those who hurt us to finally see the error of their ways or to magically change we will always feel disappointed and betrayed. We often find ourselves repeating the same patterns over and over again because we do not want to accept the ending has already happened. All we can do is find a way to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't happy and that we were wounded by this.

Of course, the more unhappy our ending was, the harder it is to accept. But if we are ever to stop reliving the pain and our powerlessness over the past, then accept it we must. This becomes much easier to do this when we decide to finally give ourselves that which was originally denied us, instead of desperately trying to get others to give it or naively waiting for the story to change. Whatever it was that feels so acutely missing in our lives, is the very thing we must take responsibility for nurturing in ourselves.

We must learn to give ourselves the love, acceptance, security, validation and respect that we need because in the end, the rest of world is just as lost and wounded as we are. It is only a vulnerable child who must look to the world outside for validation; as an empowered adult you can find a way to give yourself whatever you need without chasing after mirages. And if you don't know how? You can choose to get help and learn how. Allow the story ending be whatever it was and find some other way to give yourself what was lost.

And if instead of feeling a fearful craving you feel excited, joyful and expansive when following your dream – then you know it is not a mirage you are chasing, but a genuine calling from your soul.

Freja ♥