'The cycle of life by its very nature demands endings, losses and separation just as often as it brings about union, birth and new beginnings.' Freja ♥
We live in a world where the one thing you can completely rely upon is that 'all good things will come to an end'. Actually, all bad things will too – everything comes to an end at some point or other. So, if endings are such an intrinsic and inevitable part of life, then why is it that when faced with any sort of ending, often our instinct is to recoil from the experience in abject horror or to try hanging on for dear life? Can we ever really meet endings with graceful acceptance?
If you were to observe a tree, you would notice that it neither stubbornly hangs on to its leaves in winter nor does it throw its ripened fruit onto the ground in a disgruntled tantrum - it simply lets go when it is the right time to do so. Animals feel and display grief, but an animal mother simply cannot not afford to stand around lamenting the loss of her off spring in the wild. Death, after all, is as much a part of life as birth and animals seem to know how to take it all their stride – indeed their very survival depends on it. While emotional attachment is definitely not peculiar to human beings, it would seem that a deep terror of endings is.
What makes human beings different from other animals is our spiritual role here on Earth. We are of this world – we live in bodies of flesh and eventually die, just like every living thing on the planet. But we are also aware on a deep inner level that this world really isn't 'it', that there is something else, something eternal, something so much greater and more permanent than the cycle of life and death that we experience here on Earth. It is this intrinsic inner knowing that makes us yearn to go back to the Oneness from where we have come, that causes us to seek eternal youth and to hope that good things will 'never end'. (I am not suggesting animals are not spiritual beings too, just that they play a different role than we do.)
The further we have collectively traveled along our path away from our spiritual origins, the deeper we have gone into the experience of 'separation' from the Divine. The more separated we have felt, the harder it has been for us to cope with life on Earth, with all Her endings, losses and pain. As our experience of separation from God (Light and Love) deepened, we even began to believe that the necessary pain of endings is 'bad', that it is a sign that we are out of favour with God – that ultimately bad things only happen to us because we are being punished for our sins.
You may like to believe that this thinking doesn't apply to you – but if you have ever over reacted to or tried to avoid endings in your life, then dig a bit deeper and you will discover a deep, unconscious belief that an ending means that there is something wrong – with you, with your life or possibly with both. If you follow this collective belief back to our ancient ancestry, it can easily be traced back to the story of Adam and Eve. It is through this story we came to believe that pain, suffering and death were given to us as a punishment for disobeying God. Yep, there it is! Deep down, collectively we came to believe that endings are intended as painful a punishment for being bad – not simply the way of this magical world!
Our fear of the dark, of menstruation, death, endings and all things wild and feminine, is rooted in our frightening experience of separation from the Divine. If we do not feel essentially connected to our spiritual origins, to the Source of All Life, how can we possibly feel comfortable being in this world? Without Eternal Light to guide and comfort us, life can quickly turn into a terrifying nightmare or a seriously 'bad trip' and endings or losses can easily be misconceived as 'bad omens' – signs that we have done something wrong. Our deep seated feelings of alienation from Source have been massively compounded by the false belief that we are all intrinsically bad and have been put here on Earth to suffer as some sort of horrific punishment for our sins. (I ask you in all sincerity, what loving God would EVER do something so awful? Would you do this to your children if they upset you!?)
We chose to separate from God; to walk the path of free will and individual consciousness. We are not being punished, we are simply learning – just as a child learns as they separate from their parents and develop into a unique individual. Yes, of course there are consequences for our actions – both positive and negative – but the cycle of life by its very nature demands endings, losses and separation just as often as it brings about birth, union and new beginnings. There is nothing 'good' or 'bad' about this – it is simply nature's way.
We are constantly being reminded of this essential truth about life through the seasons, the tides and the phases of the Moon; through women's monthly menses and the life cycle of birth, marriage and death. Life ebbs and flows all around us simply because this flow of energy is essential to the healthy functioning of this amazing planet. Yes, losses hurt – but that is what our tears are for – so we can express our sadness and pain and then gently move on.
To learn to gracefully accept endings, all we need do is let go of the belief that when something comes to an end or we suffer a loss, that there is something wrong or that it is some kind of punishment from an angry, disapproving God. If we look to nature to show us the way, it all becomes so simple and so clear: When something comes to an end, all it means is that it is time to make way for something new!
Freja ♥ © December 2011
